Bubbles, BBQ's and Brilliant Tennis

Hello!!! What an 'escorchio' week it has been! Got to love summer though!!!!

Firstly some facts:

1. It was 77 years ago that a British Male won Wimbledon Singles.

2. The last British female to win Wimbledon Ladies Singles was Virginia Wade in '77.

3. Today is 7/7

4. I live at no.7.

5. Two years ago today (7/7/11) I fled with the children from my abusive ex-husband to start a new life for us all :)

6. Not forgetting that sadly 52 civilians died 8 years ago in the London Bombings.

So today we have mostly been celebrating with BBQ's and bubbly!!

It didn't occur to me till just after Andy Murray won his crucial Championship point and Wimbledon 2013 that it was two years ago to the day that I changed mine and the girls' lives for the better!! What an afternoon/evening that was 2 years ago. But WOW! I feel like a different person - for the better! Single parent struggles are inevitable but I LOVE my life now!!

And the rest of the week? Bit of a blur! Time is FLYING by!! Last week was Honey Bee's Sports day. Lush weather, lots of fun and some proud moments! I even entered the mum and child race!! No embarrassing photos to be posted - sorry to disappoint!!

I spent most of my evenings last week preparing for the interview for this part time job I mentioned (I think?!? - playgroup financial administrator). Anyway, I then attended the Playgroup AGM and came away with lots of doubt. Now, going back to work is tough for any mum who has been out of it all for a number of years and those who unfortunately share similar experiences of DV will understand that your self esteem can be low. However, my subsequent change of heart wasn't about low self esteem or low confidence - I confirmed some niggling doubts that although this job sounded perfect, the timing just isn't right, as well as the fact that one of the other candidates would be far more suitable for the job being a soon-to-be ex Committee member! So I have withdrawn my application and have no big regrets about that decision.

This week it is Honey Bee's school play, Pirates of the Curry Bean!! Looking forward to that! Only 2 weeks of school left! Argh!! :)

Where does the time go?

Well I think the realisation has set in! Its been a week since my last blog post. I just don't know where the time has gone! I think with everything that is going on, I will be better off aiming to do weekly blog posts from now on unless something really interesting comes to mind that I feel I must blog about in between!

So what happened last week? Anyone?

Well I can tell you that since Wednesday I have been nursing poorly little ones! Firstly, Missy Moo came down with a croaky cough, temperature and sore throat (I think) and has been suffering ever since. My evenings disappeared for a couple of days as she kept waking herself up with the cough and discomfort so I brought her downstairs to doze on me before I went to bed. Honey Bee was also off school on Thursday as she started the day retching up saliva and a little bit of breakfast. Back to school Friday, them yesterday morning, after having driven to town for her swimming lesson and concluding before we parked up that she wasn't fit for her lesson, she consequently threw up all over the front seat of my mum's car! Oops!!

So Sweet Pea has a bit of a hoarse cough going on but seems to be fighting it better than Missy Moo. And although Honey Bee started to recover yesterday, she has been feeling pretty rough today with stomach pain and headaches. Fingers crossed she can go to school tomorrow - for her sake! She loves school!

I can't really remember much about the earlier part of the week - can't have been all that exciting!

I have to admit I did have a bit of respite on Friday evening as I went out with a fellow DV survivor for a quick bite to eat at a local pub. Had delicious lamb burger followed by aptly named Pimm's o'clock pud! Yummy!

Talking of Pimm's.....Its Wimbledon time! I am an avid tennis fan so I have been following Wimbledon and loving the excitement of Andy Murray but definitely overwhelmed by the current good form of Laura Robson! Fab to see some talent in the Women's game!

But can you believe it?! Only 3 weeks of term left!! 3 weeks!!
Lots of bits and bobs on too! Sports Day, Playgroup AGM, Honey Bee's school play, meetings, possible interview......

It is going to fly by!

Tarts and Tantrums!

So....Sunday.........

Hmm.....what a day! 

We started the day off a bit slower than a week/school day as we often do on a Sunday - Saturday is swim lesson day so no chance of a lie-in! Mum came round to cook us all Sunday dinner in my oven because they don't currently have anything resembling a cooking appliance in their building site of a kitchen!

They've done pretty well these last couple of weeks coming to ours for dinner as the resident chef (aka me!!) has given mum time off cooking! I quite enjoy it and I usually do most of it when we go away for our annual 2 week Cornish holiday - coming up......can't wait!!!!!!

Anyway, today mum offered to give me the day off so I took her offer up! Nothing like a roast cooked by mum! ;)

The drama started however, with Missy Moo who only had a plate with 3 chips (we substituted today as neither of us had potatoes to do roasties!), a small bit of roast chicken meat, one carrot stick and a tiny broccoli floret! Did she want to eat any of it? Did she eck! 

She had already seen the Lidl Strawberry Tart that mum had brought for pud and the bribery didn't work today - you know the stuff, 'you can't have pudding until you eat this.....just one bit of meat, then you can have pudding.....' We exhausted the list! It was bribe central! Then she got tearful. She is very sensitive, and was very tired. So she got her pud! I figure that with her slight frame and my paranoia that she doesn't eat enough food all the time that a clotted cream strawberry tart would be a good way to fatten her up! Ok, wrist slap time from all you health freak text book mummies - no offence.......Joke!!! (See that - making myself paranoid that I will upset someone again!)

But that was just the start of things to come! Honey Bee, who loves strawberries but never usually eats anything with strawberries in -  other than a bowl with just strawberries in - she was the next to (putting it bluntly) kick off! She had spent the morning asking me what time we were going to the Funday (local community event) and although I am always up for supporting local events and had intended to wander down after dinner, I questioned her desperateness for going! Ultimately she sees something like it as an opportunity to have money spent on her and will moan when we say no to her or tell her its time to go. So....FUNday??? More like NO-FUNday for us adults!

Oh what a meany mum I have been today! I blackmailed/bribed/whatever you want to call it - Honey Bee by telling her that she could only go if she ate her slice of Tart! Oh Wow! Amateur dramatics alert! The fake crying and tantruming started! I am sure many of you can picture it! It went on......and on......and on......till she ate it! Mum 1 - 0 Honey Bee!

Then I became the meanest of all mean mums! Believe me - I was called it after I subsequently told her we were no longer going to go to the Funday! Why? Because, to be honest her general behaviour with me, her sisters, her grandparents, her table manners......has been quite poor and as much as I hate playing the bad guy because, as a single parent, its like you are doubley bad, I felt it was time to put my foot down and TRY to teach her a lesson!

Whether it works, who knows?! What concerns me is that her negative behaviour naturally rubs off on her sisters so I have to try to nip it in the bud as much as possible or heaven help me when my girls are teenagers!

Right, after that little rant, its time for a quick look at some of the Blog Hoppers on the Weekend Blog Hop, sup some wine and try to finish my CV and covering letter....

Till the next rant! :)

It's been sooooo long!

So today a fantastic opportunity has come about in regards to returning to work!

I was helping out at Sweet Pea's playgroup this morning and learnt that the 'paid' job of financial administrator on the committee is being advertised as of today! 

OK it is only 7 hours per week but boy am I keen! It has left me feeling so positive! Might sound naive and stupid because I haven't been offered the job or anything but it would be perfect for me to bring my CV up to date and break me back into the working world and I think I should stand out as a strong candidate because I have relevant experience!

I have just finished starting (?!?) my CV. Got the main bits done, just got to expand on some of the sections especially the Employment bit. It has been soooo long since I have had to do a CV so I am starting from scratch and its hard but I guess it is all good pratice! I am also being realistic - there is probably going to be stiff competition from all the other mums that want something small to get started again back on the road to work. But I will do my best and if I don't get it at least I will have tried and it will help in developing my skills for returning to work again in the future. Fingers crossed eh?!.......

Monday madness and mayhem...

                                  

So its been a while since I have had my craft stuff out but it is something I like to do when I can find a moment or two! I have just made the two cards above from a few bits I picked up from one of those shops that sells all kinds of bits and bobs at very low prices! I wish I had more time to do more. I have lots of bits and bobs but it is time consuming and as much as I love it as a hobby it is not a priority over everything else I 'should' be doing in my spare time! 

OK, so how many people have read the story in the papers about Charles Saatchi's 'attack' on Nigella Lawson? The word 'attack' might seem a bit over dramatic but I don't think it is. For anyone who has had first hand experience of abuse from a partner or family member will know where I am coming from. We don't know all the facts but there were enough witnesses that evening in the restaurant - though a shame nobody leapt to Nigella's aid - and previous press interviews with Nigella suggest their relationship is volatile! I just hope Nigella sees sense soon and leaves him! Nobody deserves that kind of behaviour!

Off my high horse now! 

This morning I was on duty at Honey Bee's school again. I'm helping in the Reception class and I'm really enjoying it! Hopefully it will help in the long term towards my plan to train as a teaching assistant, but in the shorter term I just want to be able to help out and get an insight into what goes on in my daughters' school. Other mums help out with reading and 'tricky words' and now that Missy Moo is less dependent on me I feel I can give the time to the school. 

Mondays seem to go by much quicker now which is good in some ways! The afternoon is broken up anyway with the school run and with more mad, giggley, tickley, moments with the girlies, here I am again, catching up with everything before bed! 

Toodle-pip till the next time!

Freedom (Programme) Forever!

                                    

Howdy!
Today I have mostly been tickled silly by my ickle monkeys! - you had to be there but I just love these moments when I can I have times of complete madness with my girls. I never had the time before and when I have all three hanging off my every limb I remind myself that I am even playing the role that you normally associate with dads - the difference with my situation is my ex had a back injury and other excuses that resulted in Honey Bee not getting this kind of play time even with him.

Aside from the madness, Sweet Pea went shopping with Nana for a treat as she has slept in her own bed for the last 3 nights!! A big achievement for her! I popped to Tesco and bought way too much chocolate! I must add that I didn't open any of it today! Mars chocolates (M&M's, Milky Way Stars, Revels etc etc) are doing the cinema ticket offer in exchange for four bags. So I thought that would be a good way of saving money for when Honey Bee next wants to go. She has also been wanting to try Cadbury's Dairy Milk Marvellous Creations Jelly Popping Candy Shells so I got some of that too!

Yesterday I caught up with a couple of friends I have made who have been through a similar situation to me/us. One has a one year old daughter and the other has three children (10, 6 and 2). We met through the Domestic Abuse Outreach services who put us in touch and set us up with starting The Freedom Programme earlier this year. We are all in differing situations with our Divorces, Child Contact stuff and so it is great to be able to support each other with all the ongoing cr*p !

Talking to them and sharing our current situations remind me of the massive benefit The Freedom Programme can be to anyone who has been through an abusive relationship or thinks they are living with an abusive partner. I wanted to share this!

I completed the programme recently and it was such a great help in moving forward with life. It really opens your eyes to things that you possibly just put up with and thought was/is normal behaviour. For me it was eye-opening. It was surprising how others in the group had been through almost identical scenarios.

See my page at the top of this blog for more information about The Freedom Programme.

Oh and just another quick Potty Update:
Missy Moo has done FOUR wee wees on the potty today! It helps when we are at home longer in the day because she can have more nappy free time but the positive step forward for me/her is the fact that when she IS nappy free she knows when she needs 'to go' so she asks for the potty! Yesterday we had a POO and two wees - the former was because she was massively constipated AGAIN :(

Oodles of Doodles and Chinese noodles!

Evening all!

So today has been a mixed up day. Nothing too eventful really. I thought we were going to be caught up in the rain both on the school run and my last minute trip to town for (what was meant to be) a few bits and bobs. But we were pretty lucky really. It didn't start raining until this afternoon and only the odd shower.

So, I 'popped' into town with Missy Moo and ended up spending more than I planned! Firstly I went in B&M Bargains and spent nearly £30 on odds and sods but did include some cheap summery canvas shoes (a bit like Clarks Doodles) and flip flops for the girls!

                           

At £2.49 a pair I just couldn't refuse especially as they had the right sizes for Missy Moo and Sweet Pea! 

Then I was on my way to Primark (yes - my mission was to spend as little as poss on the odd things the girls 'need' like pyjamas etc). But I got side-tracked walking past the Clarks shop where big red 'SALE' signs grabbed my attention! Honey Bee has been wanting some Sketchers canvas trainer type shoes that are beyond what I want to pay on a pair of shoes she will no doubt wreck or outgrow quickly - I learnt that lesson when I was persuaded or should I say TOLD to buy for her when she was 5 years old!

So fortunately for me and her there was a lovely pair of similar shoes on their sale rack so I grabbed them quick. At this point, Missy Moo had extracted herself from the pushchair and was trying to take various odd shoes off shelves and I could forsee a potential DISASTER!!! I then had the guilt trip feeling of thinking that it had been a while since I had got her feet measured and now seemed like the ideal opportunity. Missy Moo is my teeny tiny ickle girl and although recently turned 2, her feet are still a teeny tiny size 5.

 Unfortunately for me there weren't any suitable 'Sale' shoes but the assistant persuaded me to take a look at what shoes they had got in her size. Silly mummy got sucked in!

                             

Well! Who could resist these gorgeous sparkly purple Doodles!! Missy Moo loved them so how could I refuse?!

Ch-Ching! Another £30 spent and I hadn't even got to Primark!

I did make it there next and picked up a few bargains, including a £1 pair of sunglasses for me (for spares when you just can't find your usual ones as you are rushing out the door!) and a pair of black canvas trousers for £6.90 instead of £10 - which I personally think is a bargain already!!

So another £30 lighter (some kind of weird pattern emerging here?!!?) and I quickly scarpered or should I say trundled (buggy laden with at least 2 bags hanging off each side!) back to the car before I spent more money! 

Playgroup pick up, school run and many quabbles later and teatime was approaching! This week we are being joined every evening by my parents who currently do not have much of a kitchen left! They are having an extension built and so it is a bit of a building site there right now. Luckily for us all they had decided to treat us to a Chinese takeaway tonight! Yum! The girls only like Sweet and Sour Chicken, Chow Mein noodles and egg fried rice but when mum and dad join us we order a meal deal and have the added dish of King Prawn with Cashew Nuts - yummy! 

So I'm contented! Now to top it off with a glass of vino - well it IS Wine Wednesday afterall!!

D'oh

So how many of you parental types have fallen for the trick of buying different toothpaste for all your different aged children?

I put my hands up!

Every since Honey Bee was teeny tiny I religiously bought Aquafresh Milk Teeth (0-3y), naturally progressing to 'Little Teeth' (4-6y) and then 'Big Teeth' (6+). Only recently, having run out of one of either Little Teeth (used by Missy Moo and Sweet Pea) or Big Teeth, did I take the plunge and try Colgate's equivalent brand of their 'Smiles' range and the girls were converted! Honey Bee had previously been allowed to be fussy about tastes and had kicked up a fuss when I tried to get her to use a different brand!

However, one evening when my mum was round helping with bath and bed routine at the request of Sweet Pea, I was reminded that 'when you were a child, we didn't have or certainly didn't buy different toothpastes for you - we all used the same one'. It made me think initially, well that was probably because there just wasn't the availability of different ones 'in those days....' (How old does that make me feel?!!!). Or perhaps the marketing teams were just not up to the level they are today so nobody had though about promoting a product specific to differing ages as a way to increase revenue, profit and brands?

Whatever the reason, it didn't stop me being inquisitive!

And there it was! D'oh I had been sucked in by all the marketing hype! 

The Department of Health say that 'children should be using a toothpaste with between 1350-1500ppm of fluoride.' This is for children aged 3 years or older and children under 3 should use toothpaste with a fluoride level of at least 1000ppm.

Just to add to all the confusion, I have noticed that Aquafresh appear to have dropped their Milk, Little & Big Teeth range (though I think they are still in shops) and introduced a new kids range including a 'Training' toothpaste that is fluoride free! 

Now I am no dental expert and certainly don't claim to be! I know I could spend hours researching it all but frankly I haven't got the time! What I do understand is that younger children should theoretically use less fluoride but again this can be influenced by just your local water supply and how much fluoride is in it!! 

The point I guess I set about trying to make was/is, certainly for older children, more specifically my own Honey Bee (and Sweet Pea I guess) you shouldn't really need to buy separate toothpaste as an 'adult' toothpaste generally has 1400ppm of flouride and that is exactly what is in the 'older children' toothpaste!! Call it what you like, maybe a bit of a con and I certainly feel a little silly for falling for it but I know all these companies just set out to make money so they can pay their chief exec's fat bonuses!!

Cynical? Me?........!!!

Feeling a bit like Hitler.......!

                              

So today has started off with my blood pressure rising already!

Last night the kids went to bed minus a story because each of them was being what I consider to be naughty in their own individual way! It is the nightmare of parenting - deciding how extreme your parenting is going to be! 

I know that in my previous life (with ex) things would go one of two ways: Option 1 - He would undermine my discipline of Honey Bee, Option 2 - He would let rip and Honey Bee (and me probably) would be a quivering wreck! 

Fortunately for Sweet Pea and Missy Moo who were only 17months and 2.5months when we left him, they haven't been brought up around that. Needless to say, one of the challenges of single parenting or any parenting is how to discipline your child and as a single parent, you obviously do not have that second parent to support and back up your strategy! So what happens? Either you let your child walk all over you and grow up not having any respect for you (sometimes I question whether Honey Bee has an element of this make up because of 5 years of our previous life). Or you become a mini 'Hitler' and feel like you spend a lot of your time being a grumpy, moany dictator! 

It isn't too bad in our house - I think?! There are times when I think I am more more grumpy than usual but then I do have a 7 year old, 3 year old and 2 year old, all girls, all testing the boundaries!! It can be challenging at times when the 2 year old keeps saying 'no' to me! How do you deal with this? 

There are plenty of parenting text books out there but no book can tell you how to deal with individual personalities! Every child and their behaviour are unique. Sometimes it is easy to take a breath, keep calm and wait for the moment to pass.........then treat yourself to a glass of wine later!!

3 Years ago today.........

........I changed mine and the girls' lives - in a good and a bad way!

On 7th June 2010, having been separated from my husband since March 29th 2010, I rather stupidly and regrettably decided to reconcile with him. I say regrettably, but in some ways it wasn't regrettable and that is why I say it changed mine and the girls' in a good way too!!

Why? Well, for starters, at that point there were only two girls and me! I conceived Missy Moo very quickly after the reconciliation and will absolutely never, ever have any regrets about her! In some ways, I actually think her existence lives up to her (real) name - of Hebrew origin, relating to God. In addition, my decision to return to our 'previous life', having given a Police statement etc, triggered other events to occur and as mad as it may seem to some, a blessing in disguise, in the form of the involvement of Social Services/Children's Services!

Quite rightly, returning with my children to a home where there had been historic Domestic Violence, was not considered a good move by agencies involved with safeguarding children. Although I spent the next 13 months trying to make them all believe that what I had said was untrue, in the end their involvement has been a massive help in fighting my ex in court since I came to my senses and left him finally in July 2011 and ever since.....

For those of you who don't know me, there is a fair bit to my story that I will drip feed into my blog posts, but I can tell you now, my overall experience of Children's Services has been a positive one as their involvement and the lack of interest/commitment from my ex has resulted in Honey Bee having one hour supervised contact with him (supervised by our social worker) and the other two have not since him since we left in July 2011 - when Missy Moo was just 10 weeks old!!

Which Tablet?

                       

     

So it's Honey Bee's Birthday next. She will be 8 years old! Cannot quite believe it!

It is not until September but I am looking at ideas for a present for her. Last year I managed to exchange some vodafone freedom freebee points or Nectar points for vouchers so I could afford to get her the Micro Maxi Scooter that all her friends have! 

This year.....hmmm......i was first thinking Nintendo DSi (not 3DS as I have heard bad things about them causing headaches or something). Again, some of her friends have one and being compact they can be carried easily on trips out or she can fulfill some her boredom time playing on it. Then I remembered how much she likes playing on 'nana's iPad' and seeing as I cannot afford and would not buy her one if I could, I thought a good alternative would be a cheap Android based Tablet. I know she would be the envy of some friends but I also know a couple of friends who do already have a tablet. 

They seem practical too as she will have more choice of games and I understand you can download an app for parental control or something?? The idea came about because I recall having the odd Groupon email in the past, advertising one and of course, right now there doesn't appear to be one on Groupon but even places like Currys do sub £100 ones that I am sure would be adequate. But which one? I would really appreciate some advice! Or any company out there willing to have one reviewed??!!

:)

Diet dilemma

So, now we are back from our holiday it is time to knuckle down and get back on track with the diet!

I have been strictly following Weight Watchers online, typing every morsel of food into my online tracker and its has been going pretty well, but I decided that I would skip the few days away because it was too hard! The first couple of nights my evening meal was cooked for me by my friend's mum who follows Slimming World recipes so I convinced myself I must be eating reasonably healthily, but I blew the sensible eating apart when my friend's dad treated us to a three course meal at an Italian restaurant, washed down with copious amounts of red wine! Then there were the ice creams.......!! Well you can't go on holiday and not have ice cream! Then there was the Prosecco.........!! Well you can't go on holiday and not chink a few glasses with old friends...!!!

                        

So, back to normality and I have been strict with myself in the last 48 hours. I haven't dared weigh myself since being home. I will leave that to weigh in day on Friday. Hopefully it won't be too disappointing! I am feeling optimistic though because I know that if I put the effort in I can lose it! The pic above is my dinner today - crabstick salad! Just 5 propoints (with a dribble of dressing). I even treated myself to a chocolate mousse for pud! (2 pro points). I even have 7 pro points left over from today! Glass of wine? 3 pro points? Don't mind if I do........!!

Talc attack!

We're home :(

Home from our fantastic mini holiday in Exmouth. What an amazing time we all had! 

It is fortunate that the parents of a school friend of mine retired there about six years ago and my friend managed to persuade them to let us four, her and another friend descend on them last week. Am truly grateful because it meant I could give my girls a mini holiday without have to fork out for accommodation, let alone spending money.

I won't bore you with all the details......we beached, we crazy golf'd, we play park'd, we shopped, we music festival'd, we glitter tattoo'd and much more. It was fab! I even went in the sea! Ffffffffffreezing!

I was worried that at least one of the girls would play up or have lots of tantrums and show me up - a big fear when you are staying with someone else's parents. But they did me proud! They were amazingly well behaved and good mannered and that boosts my self-esteem to think I must be doing something right! We even got invited back for next May half term!

I must share this one tip with you though. I can't remember who told me or where I read about it but I just had to test it out whilst we were there! Do you find it irritating when you are covered in sand, either because it has stuck to your suncream lathered skin because of small children or others flicking it around, or you have come away from a paddle in the sea and the soft dry sand just instantly clings to your feet? Well...........take some talcum powder (talc) to the beach with you and gently rub onto the sandy areas and as if by magic, the sand comes away! Obviously don't go too mad and talc attack your skin (or others')! It is a godsend, so simple and it works! Try it!!

Are we nearly there yet?!

It's holiday time!

The girls are very excited! We are having a few days away by the seaside thanks to a lovely friend and her even lovelier parents whose house we are staying at!

The forecast for tomorrow doesn't look too amazing but Friday and Saturday look glorious so fingers crossed we can have a couple of days on the beach at least! The buckets and spades and the kitchen sink are packed and we're on our way.....!!!

Potty progress proud!

It has been a few days since my last update on this subject but that is only really because there hasn't been much to say. The technique this time round has definitely been to let her get on with it in her own time. With Honey Bee, being my first, it was easy to slip into the 'theory' behind successful potty training but ultimately she was ready and was dry by 2 without much theory put into practice. With Sweet Pea, she started showing signs of interest by following me when I went to the toilet at just 19 months and asking to be held on the toilet even if she didn't do anything. She then progressed over the following months and was properly dry by 2.5 and didn't use potties much. With Missy Moo I started by just experimenting the odd evening while the bath was running, taking her nappy off and showing her the potty. She has had a few accidents, predictably but has started making better progress.

 The latest success has ultimately been slightly forced by me refusing to put a nappy back on her this morning because she has been constipated for a few days and when she gets like this I know she finds it extremely painful and nappies don't help because the poo is so hard that it sticks out and she obviously feels uncomfortable and the cycle continues where she holds back, partly in pain but partly to avoid the discomfort. So today, after a couple of doses of lactulose, and lots of 'quiet, hiding in corner moments' I encouraged her to try the potty and fortunately she was willing. So off came the nappy and although it was somewhat alien to her, which resulted in lots of screaming, she did stay on the potty. Then eventually came the proud moment...........out came the the painful poo! Then came the OTT praise, sweets and sticker! - got to be done! They need all the encouragement to make sure they see it as positive even after such a painful experience.

I would imagine that if you are reading this it is because you have experienced this milestone, are doing so or researching people's experiences ready for your little one's 'time'. I hope it has helped. Please feel free to ask any questions, share your experiences or leave any comments! So proud of my girl!!

What an 'Epic' end to a feathery fluttery Bank Holiday!

                                      

Bank holidays.......bit like marmite? Love 'em or hate 'em? 

Me? I'm not a great fan! Usually we stay at home to avoid 'the masses' but today we ventured out with the grandparents. Not too far though and we set off early enough. Where did we go? Slimbridge Wild Fowl and Wetlands Trust! Can't recall how many times we have been there in just the last couple of years but my parents have membership so they also sometimes take Sweet Pea and Missy Moo for a day out in the week too. I certainly recall visiting when I was quite small because Her Majesty the Queen was there! Oh how the place has changed though! Particularly popular these days is Welly Boot Land where you can let your children run and play, paddling in water in their wellies on a colder day or splashing about in swimwear on a warmer day for those who have prepared in advance. A little stream runs through the 'playground' and children can create a 'dam' with the sluice gate or spin on the roundabout to make the water fountain spurt up. Of course there is the option of grabbing a coffee from the kiosk too.

Aside from this 'playground' - which for most is the favourite first place to go on arrival, there are very many species of birds and wildfowl including flamingos, geese, bewick swans,cranes and many more. Additionally there is an area where you can watch otters playing. 

We had lunch in the cafe/restaurant which was reasonable quality, not particularly cheap but you don't really expect it to be in places like this. Then after a last look around with the girls attempting to spot baby 'birds' like cygnets and ducklings, Honey Bee and Sweet Pea had their faces painted (Bank Holiday special) and then it was time to go as by now the place filled up quite significantly. Time for Missy Moo to have a nap in the car on the way home....

So after a couple of hours back home and a chance for Nana and Grandad to have a nap, it was then Bank Holiday activity #2 ! A couple of months back I took Honey Bee to see The Croods at the cinema and we saw the trailer for Epic and I pretty much promised her I would take her to see it. So thank you to Tesco Clubcard Rewards for paying for our trip! (saved me a fortune - though I am not sure how I managed to spend £7 on pick n mix!!). It pretty much lived up to it's name in terms of kids adventure film. Made by the creators of Ice Age and Rio it is one of those good vs evil stories with the odd bit that makes you giggle. One bit that particularly tickled me was a line from Mub the slug to Mary Katherine: 'I'm not a snail, he's a snail. I'm a slug. No shell over here baby!'

Fab film! Definitely one to add to the DVD collection.......

My new best friend!

I have to share with you this new product I have discovered in the supermarket today:

Warburtons seeded sandwich thins! As a pretty much dedicated online Weight Watchers dieter I have tried varying my lunch options to avoid the traditional old sandwich route because of 2 slices of bread costing me 5 pro points, then the additional points potentially from the filling - unless of course you pay beyond an affordable amount for a loaf of Weight Watchers own bread! Then I have tried the tortilla wrap (3 points) but you need to fill it up lots to make it worth it. When I first started out on the diet I was so serious that I got the polystyrene crackerbreads in and rationed out the cottage cheese. But hang fire.....Warburtons have created something that in my view is perfect for a 'light lunch' and looking at their website, they are quite adaptable to be used like a sandwich (but only 3 points) or like bruschetta for example and as anyone on the diet knows, every point can be precious, especially if it counts towards a relaxing glass of wine after the daily stresses of tantrum-ing toddlers!

Potty Update: Fab news! One wee in the potty! She likes to have a go at sitting on the potty every nappy change, in fact she insists and its definitely helping her progress. Each attempt is a step forward - maybe at this rate she could be dry before our summer holiday in August. No pressure though.

What a farce!

What a day! Not all that exciting but slightly stressful this afternoon. I was back in court fighting the ex over his contact application. What a farce! He moved counties almost a year ago but has only just decided to change solicitors after continuing to deal with one who was hundreds of miles away. So his tactic was dragging his heels...why? To try to delay the court ordering him to have a psychiatric assessment perhaps? Well, it backfired if that was the gameplan!

It was an interesting court hearing. Don't get me wrong - I didn't enjoy being there, in the same room as THAT man but I feel it went ok. I got the result I was expecting....my ex to have a psychiatric assessment before any contact considered but it is so frustrating being there, knowing he isn't really committed to seeing his kids. If he was, we would be in totally different place right now because he would have complied with social services etc a year ago but he is just using the system to continue the abuse. Why? Because he can! Grr.....

To be sat just cm's away from 'him' still brings a feeling of sickness in the stomach and sweaty hands when we are sat in court. Aside from listening to what was being said I couldn't help thinking 'was I really married to and did I really spend that many years of my life with him?'. Its almost surreal!

It is great that we may now not have to go to court again before November but I cannot carry on living as 'normal' because of the unknown with his mental health and what he might do! I do not want to be another 'stastistic' !! It is frustrating that we are here now when I am trying to rebuild mine and the girls lives but I cannot do anything more than what I am doing. I will fight with every last breath. I just hope that is enough.....

Calling all techno wiz's.......

Ok......so I've just spent the last 90 minutes trying to set up a Facebook account for this blog and I'm not getting anywhere, fast! The problem I have is that Facebook won't allow a one word name (me3andfree) or a number in it. It has even started rejecting various versions of methreeand free or me threeand free as first and last names. I have given up for now but I think I might have temporarily left it at me threeandfree.......unless I try to tweak it again!

So anyone with any bright ideas?? I have tried a couple of options suggested by good old search engine checks, including changing the Proxy details via Mozilla Firefox then making Facebook think I am Indonesian!! (Due to the fact that some Indonesians apparently don't have a surname or something?!?)

To be honest, I am not even sure how I am going to keep up with emails, blogs, twitter and Facebook as well as parent my children!! How do people do it? I even like to chill by playing Sims Freeplay and Simpson's Tapped Out on the iPad and sometimes think I could devote more time to that than sticking the washing on, making lunch etc. Got to get a grip........

Please Sign!!

I'm not one to always read the items in my Newsreel on Facebook but one that caught my eye this morning was from Refuge about signing a petition to the Government to encourage them to hold a public enquiry into the way the Police and other agencies handle Domestic Abuse responses.

Sign Petition for Public Inquiry into Handling of Domestic Abuse Responses

I would encourage anyone and everyone to sign it! Anyone who has experienced or is experiencing Domestic Abuse will understand the importance of this. Anyone who hasn't experienced it or doesn't know anyone that has then please consider signing it anyway. Two women a week are killed because of Domestic Abuse and very often the people around them have not been aware there was anything happening before they were killed. Not all abuse is physical violence but can result in terrible things.

I feel very passionate about trying to raise the awareness of such issues having lived in a Domestic Abusive relationship and although sometimes when I reflect on my 'previous' life I belittle it somewhat compared to those who have been hospitalised or worse, I know that what I experienced was unacceptable and completing The Freedom Programme has strengthened this.

Only yesterday in the news there was a story about a British man, Julian Stevenson who murdered his two children during his first unsupervised contact session with his children after an acrimonious separation and divorce from their mother because of Domestic Abuse. I am back in court tomorrow fighting similar circumstances. I live in fear every day that my ex will turn up out the blue and snatch my children or the Family Courts will have pity on him and give him the contact he claims he wants and he will then do something similar, with the theory that 'if he can't have them (kids), then no-one can'. Some people think I am being over dramatic but nobody knows what goes off in the heads of these men and tomorrow we are in court expecting the judge to recommend a full psychiatric assessment of my ex. Fingers crossed......

Has Spring finally sprung?!

It's 6.08am as I'm starting to type this! For all the mums of small children this is a familiar time, a so might also be the fact that I have been awake for 40 mins or so courtesy of my youngest Missy Moo. I guess I should be grateful, as yesterday morning I was rudely awoken by Sweet Pea at 4.55am and prevented from going back to sleep then had the 'pleasure' of listening to her snore as she decided some 40-50mins later that she was actually going to drop back off now that I was awake. This made for a rather grumpy mummy at breakfast especially as she has been disturbing me every night either during the night or early in the morning. We are off to the hospital in a couple of weeks to get her Adenoids and Tonsils checked as her snoring/breathing/hallucinations are causing her (and me!) all this disruption. I appreciate all children are different with their sleep patterns but if there is something that can be done to help improve things then it will be a good thing as she can get pretty grumpy tired some days, especially after a few hours at play group.

Anyway, it is Monday morning so I have to get up soon anyway to get me and the brood ready for school/playgroup run. Hoping for a nice-ish day again today as it hasn't been a bad weekend. Saturday was a quieter day after the initial trip to GL1 for Honey Bee's weekly swimming lesson, followed by a brief trip down memory lane to the village where I grew up, to put some flowers on my Nana's grave as it was 8 years ago on Wednesday that we lost her to Cancer. unfortunately she never got to meet her great-grandaughter who was born in the September :(

I decided to treat the kids to KFC for tea so we went back out again for that after a bit of playing in the garden.What a drama that turned out to be! Took me a while to decide what to 'treat' myself to within my Daily Propoints then when we got there the littlies were running around whilst I was ordering the food, then Sweet Pea decided she was going to allow us to practically spend the whole evening there!

Yesterday I took us out to 3 Shires garden centre as I had discovered they have a play area and Aquajardin fish section and the girls have been piling the pressure on to get a small tank. Unfortunately for them I didn't succumb to the peer pressure but I did treat them to lunch (quite reasonable food and prices) and after much playing in the play area we ended up spending nearly 4 hours there! Was nice to have a few visits from Mr Sunshine too!

So another week begins..........mum and dad back from finishing The West Highland Way today (much to the relief of Sweet Pea who has been missing her Nana cuddles), their builders arrive tomorrow and I'm back in court on Wednesday......

Potty Training update: no more wee wee's on the potty but we are seeing Missy Moo voluntarily taking herself off to sit on the potty sometimes when I take her nappy off so that is promising!

Not a hangover - honestly!

I am feeling slightly delicate this morning after a lovely evening out with some 'mum' friends to a fantastic place I recently discovered after celebrating  a friend's birthday a month ago. Last night was just a ladies night out however, no specific celebration! Nothing heavy but when sleep deprivation sets in from being woken by Sweet Pea after only an hour of sleep and having to get up ridiculously early this morning for the 'school routine' = one slightly grumpy mummy!

But anyway, the restaurant we went to was called Tiger's Eye at The Old Bell in Gloucester and is a quaint place that offers lunches as well as evening meals including a 'Black Rock Grill' described as a 'unique, delicious, healthy, interactive dining experience, which allows your meal to be presented cooking on a volcanic rock at your table'. I chose Kangaroo Fillet and Scallops (from a list of various meats, seafood and vegetables) served with wok fried potatoes and to say it was delicious is an understatement! This followed on from a rather lovely platter of sushi and was accompanied by a bottle (or two!!) of wine. We started in one of the two bars with a fab cocktail and a couple of the ladies had got there early enough to make the most of 2 for 1 cocktails which were reasonably priced at £5.95 each. All in all, the evening was made lovely by friendly staff, delicious quality food and drink and fab company! We are already talking about planning the next visit. Highly recommend!! 

On an extra note: it was the first evening that I had employed my lovely neighbour as a babysitter as with any previous nights out, my wonderful mum is chief babysitter, or as Honey Bee likes to remind me 'childminder - i'm not a baby mum,' so it was an experimental evening and it worked out fine! Till the next time!

Driving me potty!

Well, today has been a mixture of news and events. That sounds a bit more exciting than it actually is but most of it is positive stuff!

This morning I helped out with duty at Sweet Pea's playgroup. Its been a while since I volunteered but I enjoyed it and so did Missy Moo who had to tag along. The scary thing is that it could be as little as 6 months before both are attending and I get to experience child-free days!

On return to the house at lunchtime, following the first of three tumbles from Sweet Pea (she blames her shoes of course!), I was delighted to receive an email from my solicitor containing an attachment of a Section 7 report compiled by Gloucestershire Children's and Young Person's Directorate (CYPD)  for our next week's court hearing. I can't go into too much detail at this stage but I will say that I was left feeling somewhat pleased with what I read, but also reeling slightly as I feel my family's safety is somewhat in limbo again! I rang the local Police DV unit but the Sgt I have been dealing with recently (who ironically used to work on shift with my ex!) was not available to speak to so I will have to chase him up tomorrow.

On another sort of high note, Missy Moo did her first voluntary wee on her potty!!!!!!!
She has done a little dribble before after I quickly put her on one when she started to wee on the carpet upstairs whilst waiting for a bath a few weeks back but today she was nappy free for a bit this afternoon and she kept sitting on the potty, then just as I was dealing with one of the other girls, she plopped herself down, did a wee then proudly stood up looking very pleased with herself! What a lot of praise she got, from all of us! So proud of her!

Blog Virgin!

Ho hum......what to write?! 

I'm a newbie blogger so I don't really know where to start!

I've introduced myself in the About Me section but I guess I should expand a bit on that!

My name is Karen, I live in Gloucestershire with my 3 gorgeous daughters, having fled from my abusive (now ex) husband.

I decided to start this blog as a way of sharing the highs and lows of life as a single parent and survivor of domestic abuse. Hopefully my experiences and thoughts might help others (men and women) who are living with or have escaped from an abusive partner or are feeling life as a single parent is tough.

I have been rebuilding mine and my girls' lives since 7th July 2011. 

My girls have until recently been subject to a child protection plan because of my ex so I have had involvement with Children's Services in Nottinghamshire and Gloucestershire, Women's Services, Police etc. We also have ongoing Contact proceedings at court because my ex is claiming he wants to see the girls but there are concerns regarding his physical and mental health so I will keep updating with my experiences of this along with the odd rant!

I know how lonely it can feel some days, I have friends who are currently struggling with 'the system' and moving forward but hopefully, my experiences might give confidence to others who are, at times, feeling let down and low.

There is no excuse for abuse!