Are we nearly there yet?!

It's holiday time!

The girls are very excited! We are having a few days away by the seaside thanks to a lovely friend and her even lovelier parents whose house we are staying at!

The forecast for tomorrow doesn't look too amazing but Friday and Saturday look glorious so fingers crossed we can have a couple of days on the beach at least! The buckets and spades and the kitchen sink are packed and we're on our way.....!!!

Potty progress proud!

It has been a few days since my last update on this subject but that is only really because there hasn't been much to say. The technique this time round has definitely been to let her get on with it in her own time. With Honey Bee, being my first, it was easy to slip into the 'theory' behind successful potty training but ultimately she was ready and was dry by 2 without much theory put into practice. With Sweet Pea, she started showing signs of interest by following me when I went to the toilet at just 19 months and asking to be held on the toilet even if she didn't do anything. She then progressed over the following months and was properly dry by 2.5 and didn't use potties much. With Missy Moo I started by just experimenting the odd evening while the bath was running, taking her nappy off and showing her the potty. She has had a few accidents, predictably but has started making better progress.

 The latest success has ultimately been slightly forced by me refusing to put a nappy back on her this morning because she has been constipated for a few days and when she gets like this I know she finds it extremely painful and nappies don't help because the poo is so hard that it sticks out and she obviously feels uncomfortable and the cycle continues where she holds back, partly in pain but partly to avoid the discomfort. So today, after a couple of doses of lactulose, and lots of 'quiet, hiding in corner moments' I encouraged her to try the potty and fortunately she was willing. So off came the nappy and although it was somewhat alien to her, which resulted in lots of screaming, she did stay on the potty. Then eventually came the proud moment...........out came the the painful poo! Then came the OTT praise, sweets and sticker! - got to be done! They need all the encouragement to make sure they see it as positive even after such a painful experience.

I would imagine that if you are reading this it is because you have experienced this milestone, are doing so or researching people's experiences ready for your little one's 'time'. I hope it has helped. Please feel free to ask any questions, share your experiences or leave any comments! So proud of my girl!!

What an 'Epic' end to a feathery fluttery Bank Holiday!

                                      

Bank holidays.......bit like marmite? Love 'em or hate 'em? 

Me? I'm not a great fan! Usually we stay at home to avoid 'the masses' but today we ventured out with the grandparents. Not too far though and we set off early enough. Where did we go? Slimbridge Wild Fowl and Wetlands Trust! Can't recall how many times we have been there in just the last couple of years but my parents have membership so they also sometimes take Sweet Pea and Missy Moo for a day out in the week too. I certainly recall visiting when I was quite small because Her Majesty the Queen was there! Oh how the place has changed though! Particularly popular these days is Welly Boot Land where you can let your children run and play, paddling in water in their wellies on a colder day or splashing about in swimwear on a warmer day for those who have prepared in advance. A little stream runs through the 'playground' and children can create a 'dam' with the sluice gate or spin on the roundabout to make the water fountain spurt up. Of course there is the option of grabbing a coffee from the kiosk too.

Aside from this 'playground' - which for most is the favourite first place to go on arrival, there are very many species of birds and wildfowl including flamingos, geese, bewick swans,cranes and many more. Additionally there is an area where you can watch otters playing. 

We had lunch in the cafe/restaurant which was reasonable quality, not particularly cheap but you don't really expect it to be in places like this. Then after a last look around with the girls attempting to spot baby 'birds' like cygnets and ducklings, Honey Bee and Sweet Pea had their faces painted (Bank Holiday special) and then it was time to go as by now the place filled up quite significantly. Time for Missy Moo to have a nap in the car on the way home....

So after a couple of hours back home and a chance for Nana and Grandad to have a nap, it was then Bank Holiday activity #2 ! A couple of months back I took Honey Bee to see The Croods at the cinema and we saw the trailer for Epic and I pretty much promised her I would take her to see it. So thank you to Tesco Clubcard Rewards for paying for our trip! (saved me a fortune - though I am not sure how I managed to spend £7 on pick n mix!!). It pretty much lived up to it's name in terms of kids adventure film. Made by the creators of Ice Age and Rio it is one of those good vs evil stories with the odd bit that makes you giggle. One bit that particularly tickled me was a line from Mub the slug to Mary Katherine: 'I'm not a snail, he's a snail. I'm a slug. No shell over here baby!'

Fab film! Definitely one to add to the DVD collection.......

My new best friend!

I have to share with you this new product I have discovered in the supermarket today:

Warburtons seeded sandwich thins! As a pretty much dedicated online Weight Watchers dieter I have tried varying my lunch options to avoid the traditional old sandwich route because of 2 slices of bread costing me 5 pro points, then the additional points potentially from the filling - unless of course you pay beyond an affordable amount for a loaf of Weight Watchers own bread! Then I have tried the tortilla wrap (3 points) but you need to fill it up lots to make it worth it. When I first started out on the diet I was so serious that I got the polystyrene crackerbreads in and rationed out the cottage cheese. But hang fire.....Warburtons have created something that in my view is perfect for a 'light lunch' and looking at their website, they are quite adaptable to be used like a sandwich (but only 3 points) or like bruschetta for example and as anyone on the diet knows, every point can be precious, especially if it counts towards a relaxing glass of wine after the daily stresses of tantrum-ing toddlers!

Potty Update: Fab news! One wee in the potty! She likes to have a go at sitting on the potty every nappy change, in fact she insists and its definitely helping her progress. Each attempt is a step forward - maybe at this rate she could be dry before our summer holiday in August. No pressure though.

What a farce!

What a day! Not all that exciting but slightly stressful this afternoon. I was back in court fighting the ex over his contact application. What a farce! He moved counties almost a year ago but has only just decided to change solicitors after continuing to deal with one who was hundreds of miles away. So his tactic was dragging his heels...why? To try to delay the court ordering him to have a psychiatric assessment perhaps? Well, it backfired if that was the gameplan!

It was an interesting court hearing. Don't get me wrong - I didn't enjoy being there, in the same room as THAT man but I feel it went ok. I got the result I was expecting....my ex to have a psychiatric assessment before any contact considered but it is so frustrating being there, knowing he isn't really committed to seeing his kids. If he was, we would be in totally different place right now because he would have complied with social services etc a year ago but he is just using the system to continue the abuse. Why? Because he can! Grr.....

To be sat just cm's away from 'him' still brings a feeling of sickness in the stomach and sweaty hands when we are sat in court. Aside from listening to what was being said I couldn't help thinking 'was I really married to and did I really spend that many years of my life with him?'. Its almost surreal!

It is great that we may now not have to go to court again before November but I cannot carry on living as 'normal' because of the unknown with his mental health and what he might do! I do not want to be another 'stastistic' !! It is frustrating that we are here now when I am trying to rebuild mine and the girls lives but I cannot do anything more than what I am doing. I will fight with every last breath. I just hope that is enough.....

Calling all techno wiz's.......

Ok......so I've just spent the last 90 minutes trying to set up a Facebook account for this blog and I'm not getting anywhere, fast! The problem I have is that Facebook won't allow a one word name (me3andfree) or a number in it. It has even started rejecting various versions of methreeand free or me threeand free as first and last names. I have given up for now but I think I might have temporarily left it at me threeandfree.......unless I try to tweak it again!

So anyone with any bright ideas?? I have tried a couple of options suggested by good old search engine checks, including changing the Proxy details via Mozilla Firefox then making Facebook think I am Indonesian!! (Due to the fact that some Indonesians apparently don't have a surname or something?!?)

To be honest, I am not even sure how I am going to keep up with emails, blogs, twitter and Facebook as well as parent my children!! How do people do it? I even like to chill by playing Sims Freeplay and Simpson's Tapped Out on the iPad and sometimes think I could devote more time to that than sticking the washing on, making lunch etc. Got to get a grip........

Please Sign!!

I'm not one to always read the items in my Newsreel on Facebook but one that caught my eye this morning was from Refuge about signing a petition to the Government to encourage them to hold a public enquiry into the way the Police and other agencies handle Domestic Abuse responses.

Sign Petition for Public Inquiry into Handling of Domestic Abuse Responses

I would encourage anyone and everyone to sign it! Anyone who has experienced or is experiencing Domestic Abuse will understand the importance of this. Anyone who hasn't experienced it or doesn't know anyone that has then please consider signing it anyway. Two women a week are killed because of Domestic Abuse and very often the people around them have not been aware there was anything happening before they were killed. Not all abuse is physical violence but can result in terrible things.

I feel very passionate about trying to raise the awareness of such issues having lived in a Domestic Abusive relationship and although sometimes when I reflect on my 'previous' life I belittle it somewhat compared to those who have been hospitalised or worse, I know that what I experienced was unacceptable and completing The Freedom Programme has strengthened this.

Only yesterday in the news there was a story about a British man, Julian Stevenson who murdered his two children during his first unsupervised contact session with his children after an acrimonious separation and divorce from their mother because of Domestic Abuse. I am back in court tomorrow fighting similar circumstances. I live in fear every day that my ex will turn up out the blue and snatch my children or the Family Courts will have pity on him and give him the contact he claims he wants and he will then do something similar, with the theory that 'if he can't have them (kids), then no-one can'. Some people think I am being over dramatic but nobody knows what goes off in the heads of these men and tomorrow we are in court expecting the judge to recommend a full psychiatric assessment of my ex. Fingers crossed......

Has Spring finally sprung?!

It's 6.08am as I'm starting to type this! For all the mums of small children this is a familiar time, a so might also be the fact that I have been awake for 40 mins or so courtesy of my youngest Missy Moo. I guess I should be grateful, as yesterday morning I was rudely awoken by Sweet Pea at 4.55am and prevented from going back to sleep then had the 'pleasure' of listening to her snore as she decided some 40-50mins later that she was actually going to drop back off now that I was awake. This made for a rather grumpy mummy at breakfast especially as she has been disturbing me every night either during the night or early in the morning. We are off to the hospital in a couple of weeks to get her Adenoids and Tonsils checked as her snoring/breathing/hallucinations are causing her (and me!) all this disruption. I appreciate all children are different with their sleep patterns but if there is something that can be done to help improve things then it will be a good thing as she can get pretty grumpy tired some days, especially after a few hours at play group.

Anyway, it is Monday morning so I have to get up soon anyway to get me and the brood ready for school/playgroup run. Hoping for a nice-ish day again today as it hasn't been a bad weekend. Saturday was a quieter day after the initial trip to GL1 for Honey Bee's weekly swimming lesson, followed by a brief trip down memory lane to the village where I grew up, to put some flowers on my Nana's grave as it was 8 years ago on Wednesday that we lost her to Cancer. unfortunately she never got to meet her great-grandaughter who was born in the September :(

I decided to treat the kids to KFC for tea so we went back out again for that after a bit of playing in the garden.What a drama that turned out to be! Took me a while to decide what to 'treat' myself to within my Daily Propoints then when we got there the littlies were running around whilst I was ordering the food, then Sweet Pea decided she was going to allow us to practically spend the whole evening there!

Yesterday I took us out to 3 Shires garden centre as I had discovered they have a play area and Aquajardin fish section and the girls have been piling the pressure on to get a small tank. Unfortunately for them I didn't succumb to the peer pressure but I did treat them to lunch (quite reasonable food and prices) and after much playing in the play area we ended up spending nearly 4 hours there! Was nice to have a few visits from Mr Sunshine too!

So another week begins..........mum and dad back from finishing The West Highland Way today (much to the relief of Sweet Pea who has been missing her Nana cuddles), their builders arrive tomorrow and I'm back in court on Wednesday......

Potty Training update: no more wee wee's on the potty but we are seeing Missy Moo voluntarily taking herself off to sit on the potty sometimes when I take her nappy off so that is promising!

Not a hangover - honestly!

I am feeling slightly delicate this morning after a lovely evening out with some 'mum' friends to a fantastic place I recently discovered after celebrating  a friend's birthday a month ago. Last night was just a ladies night out however, no specific celebration! Nothing heavy but when sleep deprivation sets in from being woken by Sweet Pea after only an hour of sleep and having to get up ridiculously early this morning for the 'school routine' = one slightly grumpy mummy!

But anyway, the restaurant we went to was called Tiger's Eye at The Old Bell in Gloucester and is a quaint place that offers lunches as well as evening meals including a 'Black Rock Grill' described as a 'unique, delicious, healthy, interactive dining experience, which allows your meal to be presented cooking on a volcanic rock at your table'. I chose Kangaroo Fillet and Scallops (from a list of various meats, seafood and vegetables) served with wok fried potatoes and to say it was delicious is an understatement! This followed on from a rather lovely platter of sushi and was accompanied by a bottle (or two!!) of wine. We started in one of the two bars with a fab cocktail and a couple of the ladies had got there early enough to make the most of 2 for 1 cocktails which were reasonably priced at £5.95 each. All in all, the evening was made lovely by friendly staff, delicious quality food and drink and fab company! We are already talking about planning the next visit. Highly recommend!! 

On an extra note: it was the first evening that I had employed my lovely neighbour as a babysitter as with any previous nights out, my wonderful mum is chief babysitter, or as Honey Bee likes to remind me 'childminder - i'm not a baby mum,' so it was an experimental evening and it worked out fine! Till the next time!

Driving me potty!

Well, today has been a mixture of news and events. That sounds a bit more exciting than it actually is but most of it is positive stuff!

This morning I helped out with duty at Sweet Pea's playgroup. Its been a while since I volunteered but I enjoyed it and so did Missy Moo who had to tag along. The scary thing is that it could be as little as 6 months before both are attending and I get to experience child-free days!

On return to the house at lunchtime, following the first of three tumbles from Sweet Pea (she blames her shoes of course!), I was delighted to receive an email from my solicitor containing an attachment of a Section 7 report compiled by Gloucestershire Children's and Young Person's Directorate (CYPD)  for our next week's court hearing. I can't go into too much detail at this stage but I will say that I was left feeling somewhat pleased with what I read, but also reeling slightly as I feel my family's safety is somewhat in limbo again! I rang the local Police DV unit but the Sgt I have been dealing with recently (who ironically used to work on shift with my ex!) was not available to speak to so I will have to chase him up tomorrow.

On another sort of high note, Missy Moo did her first voluntary wee on her potty!!!!!!!
She has done a little dribble before after I quickly put her on one when she started to wee on the carpet upstairs whilst waiting for a bath a few weeks back but today she was nappy free for a bit this afternoon and she kept sitting on the potty, then just as I was dealing with one of the other girls, she plopped herself down, did a wee then proudly stood up looking very pleased with herself! What a lot of praise she got, from all of us! So proud of her!

Blog Virgin!

Ho hum......what to write?! 

I'm a newbie blogger so I don't really know where to start!

I've introduced myself in the About Me section but I guess I should expand a bit on that!

My name is Karen, I live in Gloucestershire with my 3 gorgeous daughters, having fled from my abusive (now ex) husband.

I decided to start this blog as a way of sharing the highs and lows of life as a single parent and survivor of domestic abuse. Hopefully my experiences and thoughts might help others (men and women) who are living with or have escaped from an abusive partner or are feeling life as a single parent is tough.

I have been rebuilding mine and my girls' lives since 7th July 2011. 

My girls have until recently been subject to a child protection plan because of my ex so I have had involvement with Children's Services in Nottinghamshire and Gloucestershire, Women's Services, Police etc. We also have ongoing Contact proceedings at court because my ex is claiming he wants to see the girls but there are concerns regarding his physical and mental health so I will keep updating with my experiences of this along with the odd rant!

I know how lonely it can feel some days, I have friends who are currently struggling with 'the system' and moving forward but hopefully, my experiences might give confidence to others who are, at times, feeling let down and low.

There is no excuse for abuse!