So I have been a bit slack.....

I admit it, running a blog is near impossible as a single mum of three girlies, treasurer of local committees, student again, voluntary helper at my daughters' playgroup and school.........unless of course I actually AM Wonderwoman and have yet to discover this?!!

I will do my best to update a bit more asap as I am currently sandwiched between my two littlies in my bed, waiting to get up and start my FRIDAY FUN! - maybe less of the 'fun' but sounded good when I started typing!

So until next time..... :-)

Bubbles, BBQ's and Brilliant Tennis

Hello!!! What an 'escorchio' week it has been! Got to love summer though!!!!

Firstly some facts:

1. It was 77 years ago that a British Male won Wimbledon Singles.

2. The last British female to win Wimbledon Ladies Singles was Virginia Wade in '77.

3. Today is 7/7

4. I live at no.7.

5. Two years ago today (7/7/11) I fled with the children from my abusive ex-husband to start a new life for us all :)

6. Not forgetting that sadly 52 civilians died 8 years ago in the London Bombings.

So today we have mostly been celebrating with BBQ's and bubbly!!

It didn't occur to me till just after Andy Murray won his crucial Championship point and Wimbledon 2013 that it was two years ago to the day that I changed mine and the girls' lives for the better!! What an afternoon/evening that was 2 years ago. But WOW! I feel like a different person - for the better! Single parent struggles are inevitable but I LOVE my life now!!

And the rest of the week? Bit of a blur! Time is FLYING by!! Last week was Honey Bee's Sports day. Lush weather, lots of fun and some proud moments! I even entered the mum and child race!! No embarrassing photos to be posted - sorry to disappoint!!

I spent most of my evenings last week preparing for the interview for this part time job I mentioned (I think?!? - playgroup financial administrator). Anyway, I then attended the Playgroup AGM and came away with lots of doubt. Now, going back to work is tough for any mum who has been out of it all for a number of years and those who unfortunately share similar experiences of DV will understand that your self esteem can be low. However, my subsequent change of heart wasn't about low self esteem or low confidence - I confirmed some niggling doubts that although this job sounded perfect, the timing just isn't right, as well as the fact that one of the other candidates would be far more suitable for the job being a soon-to-be ex Committee member! So I have withdrawn my application and have no big regrets about that decision.

This week it is Honey Bee's school play, Pirates of the Curry Bean!! Looking forward to that! Only 2 weeks of school left! Argh!! :)

Where does the time go?

Well I think the realisation has set in! Its been a week since my last blog post. I just don't know where the time has gone! I think with everything that is going on, I will be better off aiming to do weekly blog posts from now on unless something really interesting comes to mind that I feel I must blog about in between!

So what happened last week? Anyone?

Well I can tell you that since Wednesday I have been nursing poorly little ones! Firstly, Missy Moo came down with a croaky cough, temperature and sore throat (I think) and has been suffering ever since. My evenings disappeared for a couple of days as she kept waking herself up with the cough and discomfort so I brought her downstairs to doze on me before I went to bed. Honey Bee was also off school on Thursday as she started the day retching up saliva and a little bit of breakfast. Back to school Friday, them yesterday morning, after having driven to town for her swimming lesson and concluding before we parked up that she wasn't fit for her lesson, she consequently threw up all over the front seat of my mum's car! Oops!!

So Sweet Pea has a bit of a hoarse cough going on but seems to be fighting it better than Missy Moo. And although Honey Bee started to recover yesterday, she has been feeling pretty rough today with stomach pain and headaches. Fingers crossed she can go to school tomorrow - for her sake! She loves school!

I can't really remember much about the earlier part of the week - can't have been all that exciting!

I have to admit I did have a bit of respite on Friday evening as I went out with a fellow DV survivor for a quick bite to eat at a local pub. Had delicious lamb burger followed by aptly named Pimm's o'clock pud! Yummy!

Talking of Pimm's.....Its Wimbledon time! I am an avid tennis fan so I have been following Wimbledon and loving the excitement of Andy Murray but definitely overwhelmed by the current good form of Laura Robson! Fab to see some talent in the Women's game!

But can you believe it?! Only 3 weeks of term left!! 3 weeks!!
Lots of bits and bobs on too! Sports Day, Playgroup AGM, Honey Bee's school play, meetings, possible interview......

It is going to fly by!

Tarts and Tantrums!

So....Sunday.........

Hmm.....what a day! 

We started the day off a bit slower than a week/school day as we often do on a Sunday - Saturday is swim lesson day so no chance of a lie-in! Mum came round to cook us all Sunday dinner in my oven because they don't currently have anything resembling a cooking appliance in their building site of a kitchen!

They've done pretty well these last couple of weeks coming to ours for dinner as the resident chef (aka me!!) has given mum time off cooking! I quite enjoy it and I usually do most of it when we go away for our annual 2 week Cornish holiday - coming up......can't wait!!!!!!

Anyway, today mum offered to give me the day off so I took her offer up! Nothing like a roast cooked by mum! ;)

The drama started however, with Missy Moo who only had a plate with 3 chips (we substituted today as neither of us had potatoes to do roasties!), a small bit of roast chicken meat, one carrot stick and a tiny broccoli floret! Did she want to eat any of it? Did she eck! 

She had already seen the Lidl Strawberry Tart that mum had brought for pud and the bribery didn't work today - you know the stuff, 'you can't have pudding until you eat this.....just one bit of meat, then you can have pudding.....' We exhausted the list! It was bribe central! Then she got tearful. She is very sensitive, and was very tired. So she got her pud! I figure that with her slight frame and my paranoia that she doesn't eat enough food all the time that a clotted cream strawberry tart would be a good way to fatten her up! Ok, wrist slap time from all you health freak text book mummies - no offence.......Joke!!! (See that - making myself paranoid that I will upset someone again!)

But that was just the start of things to come! Honey Bee, who loves strawberries but never usually eats anything with strawberries in -  other than a bowl with just strawberries in - she was the next to (putting it bluntly) kick off! She had spent the morning asking me what time we were going to the Funday (local community event) and although I am always up for supporting local events and had intended to wander down after dinner, I questioned her desperateness for going! Ultimately she sees something like it as an opportunity to have money spent on her and will moan when we say no to her or tell her its time to go. So....FUNday??? More like NO-FUNday for us adults!

Oh what a meany mum I have been today! I blackmailed/bribed/whatever you want to call it - Honey Bee by telling her that she could only go if she ate her slice of Tart! Oh Wow! Amateur dramatics alert! The fake crying and tantruming started! I am sure many of you can picture it! It went on......and on......and on......till she ate it! Mum 1 - 0 Honey Bee!

Then I became the meanest of all mean mums! Believe me - I was called it after I subsequently told her we were no longer going to go to the Funday! Why? Because, to be honest her general behaviour with me, her sisters, her grandparents, her table manners......has been quite poor and as much as I hate playing the bad guy because, as a single parent, its like you are doubley bad, I felt it was time to put my foot down and TRY to teach her a lesson!

Whether it works, who knows?! What concerns me is that her negative behaviour naturally rubs off on her sisters so I have to try to nip it in the bud as much as possible or heaven help me when my girls are teenagers!

Right, after that little rant, its time for a quick look at some of the Blog Hoppers on the Weekend Blog Hop, sup some wine and try to finish my CV and covering letter....

Till the next rant! :)

It's been sooooo long!

So today a fantastic opportunity has come about in regards to returning to work!

I was helping out at Sweet Pea's playgroup this morning and learnt that the 'paid' job of financial administrator on the committee is being advertised as of today! 

OK it is only 7 hours per week but boy am I keen! It has left me feeling so positive! Might sound naive and stupid because I haven't been offered the job or anything but it would be perfect for me to bring my CV up to date and break me back into the working world and I think I should stand out as a strong candidate because I have relevant experience!

I have just finished starting (?!?) my CV. Got the main bits done, just got to expand on some of the sections especially the Employment bit. It has been soooo long since I have had to do a CV so I am starting from scratch and its hard but I guess it is all good pratice! I am also being realistic - there is probably going to be stiff competition from all the other mums that want something small to get started again back on the road to work. But I will do my best and if I don't get it at least I will have tried and it will help in developing my skills for returning to work again in the future. Fingers crossed eh?!.......

Freedom (Programme) Forever!

                                    

Howdy!
Today I have mostly been tickled silly by my ickle monkeys! - you had to be there but I just love these moments when I can I have times of complete madness with my girls. I never had the time before and when I have all three hanging off my every limb I remind myself that I am even playing the role that you normally associate with dads - the difference with my situation is my ex had a back injury and other excuses that resulted in Honey Bee not getting this kind of play time even with him.

Aside from the madness, Sweet Pea went shopping with Nana for a treat as she has slept in her own bed for the last 3 nights!! A big achievement for her! I popped to Tesco and bought way too much chocolate! I must add that I didn't open any of it today! Mars chocolates (M&M's, Milky Way Stars, Revels etc etc) are doing the cinema ticket offer in exchange for four bags. So I thought that would be a good way of saving money for when Honey Bee next wants to go. She has also been wanting to try Cadbury's Dairy Milk Marvellous Creations Jelly Popping Candy Shells so I got some of that too!

Yesterday I caught up with a couple of friends I have made who have been through a similar situation to me/us. One has a one year old daughter and the other has three children (10, 6 and 2). We met through the Domestic Abuse Outreach services who put us in touch and set us up with starting The Freedom Programme earlier this year. We are all in differing situations with our Divorces, Child Contact stuff and so it is great to be able to support each other with all the ongoing cr*p !

Talking to them and sharing our current situations remind me of the massive benefit The Freedom Programme can be to anyone who has been through an abusive relationship or thinks they are living with an abusive partner. I wanted to share this!

I completed the programme recently and it was such a great help in moving forward with life. It really opens your eyes to things that you possibly just put up with and thought was/is normal behaviour. For me it was eye-opening. It was surprising how others in the group had been through almost identical scenarios.

See my page at the top of this blog for more information about The Freedom Programme.

Oh and just another quick Potty Update:
Missy Moo has done FOUR wee wees on the potty today! It helps when we are at home longer in the day because she can have more nappy free time but the positive step forward for me/her is the fact that when she IS nappy free she knows when she needs 'to go' so she asks for the potty! Yesterday we had a POO and two wees - the former was because she was massively constipated AGAIN :(

Oodles of Doodles and Chinese noodles!

Evening all!

So today has been a mixed up day. Nothing too eventful really. I thought we were going to be caught up in the rain both on the school run and my last minute trip to town for (what was meant to be) a few bits and bobs. But we were pretty lucky really. It didn't start raining until this afternoon and only the odd shower.

So, I 'popped' into town with Missy Moo and ended up spending more than I planned! Firstly I went in B&M Bargains and spent nearly £30 on odds and sods but did include some cheap summery canvas shoes (a bit like Clarks Doodles) and flip flops for the girls!

                           

At £2.49 a pair I just couldn't refuse especially as they had the right sizes for Missy Moo and Sweet Pea! 

Then I was on my way to Primark (yes - my mission was to spend as little as poss on the odd things the girls 'need' like pyjamas etc). But I got side-tracked walking past the Clarks shop where big red 'SALE' signs grabbed my attention! Honey Bee has been wanting some Sketchers canvas trainer type shoes that are beyond what I want to pay on a pair of shoes she will no doubt wreck or outgrow quickly - I learnt that lesson when I was persuaded or should I say TOLD to buy for her when she was 5 years old!

So fortunately for me and her there was a lovely pair of similar shoes on their sale rack so I grabbed them quick. At this point, Missy Moo had extracted herself from the pushchair and was trying to take various odd shoes off shelves and I could forsee a potential DISASTER!!! I then had the guilt trip feeling of thinking that it had been a while since I had got her feet measured and now seemed like the ideal opportunity. Missy Moo is my teeny tiny ickle girl and although recently turned 2, her feet are still a teeny tiny size 5.

 Unfortunately for me there weren't any suitable 'Sale' shoes but the assistant persuaded me to take a look at what shoes they had got in her size. Silly mummy got sucked in!

                             

Well! Who could resist these gorgeous sparkly purple Doodles!! Missy Moo loved them so how could I refuse?!

Ch-Ching! Another £30 spent and I hadn't even got to Primark!

I did make it there next and picked up a few bargains, including a £1 pair of sunglasses for me (for spares when you just can't find your usual ones as you are rushing out the door!) and a pair of black canvas trousers for £6.90 instead of £10 - which I personally think is a bargain already!!

So another £30 lighter (some kind of weird pattern emerging here?!!?) and I quickly scarpered or should I say trundled (buggy laden with at least 2 bags hanging off each side!) back to the car before I spent more money! 

Playgroup pick up, school run and many quabbles later and teatime was approaching! This week we are being joined every evening by my parents who currently do not have much of a kitchen left! They are having an extension built and so it is a bit of a building site there right now. Luckily for us all they had decided to treat us to a Chinese takeaway tonight! Yum! The girls only like Sweet and Sour Chicken, Chow Mein noodles and egg fried rice but when mum and dad join us we order a meal deal and have the added dish of King Prawn with Cashew Nuts - yummy! 

So I'm contented! Now to top it off with a glass of vino - well it IS Wine Wednesday afterall!!

D'oh

So how many of you parental types have fallen for the trick of buying different toothpaste for all your different aged children?

I put my hands up!

Every since Honey Bee was teeny tiny I religiously bought Aquafresh Milk Teeth (0-3y), naturally progressing to 'Little Teeth' (4-6y) and then 'Big Teeth' (6+). Only recently, having run out of one of either Little Teeth (used by Missy Moo and Sweet Pea) or Big Teeth, did I take the plunge and try Colgate's equivalent brand of their 'Smiles' range and the girls were converted! Honey Bee had previously been allowed to be fussy about tastes and had kicked up a fuss when I tried to get her to use a different brand!

However, one evening when my mum was round helping with bath and bed routine at the request of Sweet Pea, I was reminded that 'when you were a child, we didn't have or certainly didn't buy different toothpastes for you - we all used the same one'. It made me think initially, well that was probably because there just wasn't the availability of different ones 'in those days....' (How old does that make me feel?!!!). Or perhaps the marketing teams were just not up to the level they are today so nobody had though about promoting a product specific to differing ages as a way to increase revenue, profit and brands?

Whatever the reason, it didn't stop me being inquisitive!

And there it was! D'oh I had been sucked in by all the marketing hype! 

The Department of Health say that 'children should be using a toothpaste with between 1350-1500ppm of fluoride.' This is for children aged 3 years or older and children under 3 should use toothpaste with a fluoride level of at least 1000ppm.

Just to add to all the confusion, I have noticed that Aquafresh appear to have dropped their Milk, Little & Big Teeth range (though I think they are still in shops) and introduced a new kids range including a 'Training' toothpaste that is fluoride free! 

Now I am no dental expert and certainly don't claim to be! I know I could spend hours researching it all but frankly I haven't got the time! What I do understand is that younger children should theoretically use less fluoride but again this can be influenced by just your local water supply and how much fluoride is in it!! 

The point I guess I set about trying to make was/is, certainly for older children, more specifically my own Honey Bee (and Sweet Pea I guess) you shouldn't really need to buy separate toothpaste as an 'adult' toothpaste generally has 1400ppm of flouride and that is exactly what is in the 'older children' toothpaste!! Call it what you like, maybe a bit of a con and I certainly feel a little silly for falling for it but I know all these companies just set out to make money so they can pay their chief exec's fat bonuses!!

Cynical? Me?........!!!

Feeling a bit like Hitler.......!

                              

So today has started off with my blood pressure rising already!

Last night the kids went to bed minus a story because each of them was being what I consider to be naughty in their own individual way! It is the nightmare of parenting - deciding how extreme your parenting is going to be! 

I know that in my previous life (with ex) things would go one of two ways: Option 1 - He would undermine my discipline of Honey Bee, Option 2 - He would let rip and Honey Bee (and me probably) would be a quivering wreck! 

Fortunately for Sweet Pea and Missy Moo who were only 17months and 2.5months when we left him, they haven't been brought up around that. Needless to say, one of the challenges of single parenting or any parenting is how to discipline your child and as a single parent, you obviously do not have that second parent to support and back up your strategy! So what happens? Either you let your child walk all over you and grow up not having any respect for you (sometimes I question whether Honey Bee has an element of this make up because of 5 years of our previous life). Or you become a mini 'Hitler' and feel like you spend a lot of your time being a grumpy, moany dictator! 

It isn't too bad in our house - I think?! There are times when I think I am more more grumpy than usual but then I do have a 7 year old, 3 year old and 2 year old, all girls, all testing the boundaries!! It can be challenging at times when the 2 year old keeps saying 'no' to me! How do you deal with this? 

There are plenty of parenting text books out there but no book can tell you how to deal with individual personalities! Every child and their behaviour are unique. Sometimes it is easy to take a breath, keep calm and wait for the moment to pass.........then treat yourself to a glass of wine later!!

Potty progress proud!

It has been a few days since my last update on this subject but that is only really because there hasn't been much to say. The technique this time round has definitely been to let her get on with it in her own time. With Honey Bee, being my first, it was easy to slip into the 'theory' behind successful potty training but ultimately she was ready and was dry by 2 without much theory put into practice. With Sweet Pea, she started showing signs of interest by following me when I went to the toilet at just 19 months and asking to be held on the toilet even if she didn't do anything. She then progressed over the following months and was properly dry by 2.5 and didn't use potties much. With Missy Moo I started by just experimenting the odd evening while the bath was running, taking her nappy off and showing her the potty. She has had a few accidents, predictably but has started making better progress.

 The latest success has ultimately been slightly forced by me refusing to put a nappy back on her this morning because she has been constipated for a few days and when she gets like this I know she finds it extremely painful and nappies don't help because the poo is so hard that it sticks out and she obviously feels uncomfortable and the cycle continues where she holds back, partly in pain but partly to avoid the discomfort. So today, after a couple of doses of lactulose, and lots of 'quiet, hiding in corner moments' I encouraged her to try the potty and fortunately she was willing. So off came the nappy and although it was somewhat alien to her, which resulted in lots of screaming, she did stay on the potty. Then eventually came the proud moment...........out came the the painful poo! Then came the OTT praise, sweets and sticker! - got to be done! They need all the encouragement to make sure they see it as positive even after such a painful experience.

I would imagine that if you are reading this it is because you have experienced this milestone, are doing so or researching people's experiences ready for your little one's 'time'. I hope it has helped. Please feel free to ask any questions, share your experiences or leave any comments! So proud of my girl!!

Calling all techno wiz's.......

Ok......so I've just spent the last 90 minutes trying to set up a Facebook account for this blog and I'm not getting anywhere, fast! The problem I have is that Facebook won't allow a one word name (me3andfree) or a number in it. It has even started rejecting various versions of methreeand free or me threeand free as first and last names. I have given up for now but I think I might have temporarily left it at me threeandfree.......unless I try to tweak it again!

So anyone with any bright ideas?? I have tried a couple of options suggested by good old search engine checks, including changing the Proxy details via Mozilla Firefox then making Facebook think I am Indonesian!! (Due to the fact that some Indonesians apparently don't have a surname or something?!?)

To be honest, I am not even sure how I am going to keep up with emails, blogs, twitter and Facebook as well as parent my children!! How do people do it? I even like to chill by playing Sims Freeplay and Simpson's Tapped Out on the iPad and sometimes think I could devote more time to that than sticking the washing on, making lunch etc. Got to get a grip........